“The thought manifests the word;
The word manifests the deed;
The deed develops into habit;
And habit hardens into character;
So watch the thought and its ways with care,
And let them spring forth from love
Born out of compassion for all beings.
As the shadow follows the body, as we think, so we become.”

― Dhammapada

tags: buddhism, compassion, integrity, religion

Lately, I’ve been studying how a person’s character develops by the choices they make in life and in their thoughts and actions.

A couple of notes:

a person’s character is constantly developing
no person can be summed up in totality by our few moments with them
Forgiveness dominates. Must always dominate. But forgiveness is not stupidity. I can say this about a lot of things. Fearlessness is not stupidity. If you have a fear of jumping off a cliff because you might die, it’s a good thing not to jump off the cliff. There’s a logic to the body’s alerts and alarm bells.
Forgiveness is a love that has a whole lot of discernment in it. And though we remain forgiving, it’s also great practice to understand a person’s character as it is honed by the habits they choose to perpetuate.
I’ve been watching a few versions of Pride and Prejudice on Netflix and Amazon (character study for a play I have been writing). Mr. Wickham (the charmer) and Mr. Darcy (the snob) are such great metaphors, warning us of persons’ characters: never judge a book by its cover.

What I have learned from the character of Mr. Wickham:

question the character of a person who is constantly asking for pity
question the character of a person who is consistently complaining about the people in their lives and the wrongs done to them
question the character of anyone who often falls prey to victimhood and therefore “deserves” something better

There is a quote about Mr. Wickham in “Death Comes to Pemberley” - which is actually based on PD James’ novel (who continued the stories of Jane Austen’s characters) - “He is a liar, a cheat, a scoundrel, but he is no murderer.” I paraphrase.

But the thing that is more remarkable about the other characters around Mr. Wickham is how they suffer and adjust their lives according to the ways of this scoundrel in their midst.

Ramana Maharshi says that there are two things one must heed on the path to enlightenment:

The company you keep.
The food you eat.

And so I use The Dhammapada as a clue into the characters of people around me with great love and respect. I heed:

The words people speak
The deeds they perform
The habits they perpetuate on a daily basis
To see what sort of character they will play among the company I keep
With great love, I have learned to use discernment to keep the peace in the home and in my daily life

I have had to learn all of the above, the long, hard way. Discernment is honed over time. It is neither “pride” nor “prejudice.” It is not “charm” nor “snobbery.” My natural tendency is to go in Heart-first and assume the best of everyone. And still this stands.

Except now the Devi stands guard next to me with a giant sword.

And the sword always remains polished and laser sharp.

In the company of good folk and food. We bow.

Jai Devi.

Namaste,

Sumukhi

A garland of flowers and beauty - swords of discernment

The Devī as demon-slayer

Character

― Dhammapada