The Ego

Ego is possibly one of the most misunderstood words in modern spirituality.

In Sanskrit we say “ahamkara” which to me roughly translates to the awareness of an “I” that exists:  I-am.  In my lineage - Shri Brahmananda Sarasvatī, our Guruji - said each of us has 3 I-ams:

1. I am

2. I Am

3. I AM

As the awareness moves from 1 to 3, from small self to infinite Self, we perceive ourselves beyond the body and the mind - we become the “Witness” or the one who has a body and a mind.

We say all the following phrases in modern vernacular to describe the ego:

• ”she/he is so full of herself / himself”

• narcissist

• drama King / Queen

And there are more phrases.  But I think the parenthetical statement in all of the above is that the ego dominates in one who sees no one else but him or herself in their experience.  An over-inflated ego behaves only as the particular and not at all as the universal in varying degrees.

At times, in less evolved spiritual communities, what can happen in the attempt to keep the ego in check in one’s self or others is:

• false humility (Uriah Heep)

• an over-reliance on helping others rather than one’s self

• self-abnegation

• self-hatred

All of the above are still aberrations of the ego.  But they are rampant, not just in spiritual communities but everywhere. 

So what is the happy medium between  

• self aggrandizement and

• self hatred?

which ultimately are the same thing —

LOVE is the happy medium.

One of the most powerful practices I have learned from Sandi Stringer - my resonance repatterning coach, healer, therapist, spiritual guide - is to love every single part of the ego and the child inside myself instead of casting her aside.

When one loves one’s own volleying and cascades of emotions - unconditionally - and with great respect,  it is much easier to release and love others for all their quirks, emotions, tempers, insanities, checking out.

This love is not martydom nor is it an over-indulgence of the emotional landscape.  It is a love that feels good.  It is a self-check that stops and asks what one’s own body-mind-ego needs are before pleasing others.

As they say on any flight: 

Put the oxygen mask on one’s self first in any emergency situation.

Self-love is first and foremost.  And takes form in myriad ways of listening to one’s own needs and heeding them with great respect and care. 

Stop a moment.  Breathe.  Drop the mind.  Relax.  Do nothing.  Think nothing.  Imagine nothing. 

Now, only Love lasts forever. 

Namaste, 

Sumukhi