Responsibility
“People have forgotten this truth,” the fox said. "But you mustn’t forget it. You become responsible forever for what you’ve tamed. You’re responsible for your rose.”
- Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince
Irresponsibility is quite rampant in the world. There’s someone or something to blame for one’s own misery or failure. I’ve learned as a meditator - and it’s truly not a popular stance when one is not practicing meditation- that I am the only one responsible for my own misery or failure.
And that misery and failure are also part of the perfection: a peak must have a valley - otherwise life isn’t complete.
The Witness - the one who is the field and the knower of the field - as described in the Bhagavad Gita - is the one who sees both the peaks and the valleys as perfection - neither clinging to one experience nor the other.
This doesn’t mean that one simply lets atrocities be - quite the contrary. When I take responsibility for myself and my needs, empowerment happens. Not just my own - but others’ empowerment. When I take responsibility for others’ thoughts and actions, I disempower myself and the other.
I’ve seen the negative pattern of “clinging” happen with folks who refuse to take responsibility for themselves. Mind you, I would like to differentiate between this truly sweet attachment that we have for loved ones and the stickiness of a clinging that chokes the life outta ya.
The mark of maturity is the ability to take responsibility for one’s self and to let go of barnacles. Barnacles can destroy an entire structure if you don’t watch out.
As a responsible adult, I have learned to Witness without “taking it on” while other adults make bad choices and wreak havoc on themselves and others. Because the alternative is to hang me with them. And this is not self-love. Quite the contrary: this is the very definition of co-dependence.
I watched Eckhart Tolle recently answer the questions of a young man who was following him and his teachings. And I wasn’t so much impressed by anything either party was saying but with the degree of detachment Mr. Tolle had while giving explanations both particular to the questioner and universally healing for the audience.
Mr. Tolle did not strike me as acting in any way “responsible” for the questioner finding his way. He allowed the questioner a path into responsibility for himself.
Mr. Tolle simply gave a teaching. And the rest was up to the young man. It’s extraordinary to watch this.
There’s a giant difference between giving a teaching and being responsible for whatever the person receiving the teaching does with it.
When two self-responsible adults meet - ah - great bliss, supreme ease, amazing friendship. Great joy.
The alternative is a lot of barnacle scrubbing which may require pick axes and other blunt tools. Heavy duty work. When you meet a barnacle: let them go before they take you down with them.
You want to spend your precious time on this precious earth only with “Little Princes” and “Little Princesses” who cultivate and love their rose. These are the responsible ones. Tame your own rose and be resonsible for her. Because when you do this, you expand into the Heart of the Universe and allow others to do the same.
Om Namah Shivaya,
Sumukhi
